Kilts, Daggers and Sheep... Oh My! (aka Scotland)

It's been a while since I've updated the blog... Europe has been non stop busy, crazy, unpredictable and I can already tell, life-changing. There's been so much going on since dad passed, that I didn't really take much time to plan for Europe. The fact I was about to embark on a six-week long trek through nine countries didn't really hit me until after I left. It is this which might explain why I threw my suitcase together twenty minutes before leaving for the airport!

Arriving in Europe for such a long period has been quite a shock. There are certain things in life that I've already learned not to take for granted anymore like GPS and having the internet in the palm of your hand.  After two weeks I have to say, I miss having Siri tell me whether to turn left or right and having easy communication with my friends and family since I miss them a lot, but it's expensive to use data roaming here, so I'm all on my own with no GPS or Google!

Driving on the left side of the road with the steering wheel on the opposite side and left-handed stick-shift took some getting used to! I only almost crashed the car twice.

I've discovered there's something really amazing about showing up to an unknown country with no specific plans, no maps, no tourist books... Just asking locals what to do and where to go and see what happens. The feeling of getting lost with an unpredictable schedule is just an incredible experience. I believe it really connects you to the culture, introduces you to awesome people, and you find yourself in places you otherwise would miss.

There is a lot to write about so with that said onto the trip! First we arrived in London, took a few days to settle in and get over jet-lag. I met with my old friend Steppo and met some great new ones then it was off to the first real destination: Scotland!

Some amazing new friends I met in London who showed me around the city

So why Scotland, you may ask? Well before my dad died, I didn’t know much about my family heritage. As my dad was a lot older, I was never able to meet my grandparents or great-grandparents. For those of you who don’t know, my dad was married once before, where he had four amazing kids: Carey, Lori, Steven and Linda. With a sizeable age difference between us, they knew my dad at a very different time in his life, in addition to knowing many of the family members I was never able to meet. As they all live in other parts of the country, I don’t get to see any of them nearly as much as I’d like, though I’m incredibly grateful for how close we all are.

One of the most special parts of the days surrounding dad’s funeral was that they were all in town and we had a lot of quality time with each other. It was during those late nights together that I really began developing an interest in my family history. Hearing their memories of my dad from his younger days, combined with stories about his parents and grandparents really made me wonder about where our family came from. 

With my newfound passion for discovering as much as I could about my family, I began sifting through public record databases, encyclopedias and of course, the internet... Turns out we have been in America since the 1600s and my family has included a Civil War Captain, the motocross star Ricky Carmichael, and my 3rd cousin was a famous musician/actor from Hollywood’s golden age, Hoagy Carmichael, who wrote the songs "Georgia on My Mind"and "Stardust," which were made famous by Ray Charles and other artists. By the time I got to the year 1600, I was exhausted but still curious where we came from before then. Luckily, I kept going...

With some help from my brother Steve (or as dad called him "Tiger"), I discovered that our name Carmichael came from one of the first Christian churches ever built in Scotland by Queen Margaret back in 1068 A.D. Queen Margaret was married to King Malcolm III, the guy who killed Macbeth from Shakespeare's Macbeth. The church was built on what was called "Caer hill" and the Queen wanted to dedicate it to the Archangel Michael (of St. Mychel). Eventually the name of the place became "Caer Mychel," which was then adopted by the residents as their surname. The hill and its immediate areas became known as the village of Carmichael and the land is still owned by the family today.

Given all I'd learned, I thought a great place to start my journey would be the place my family started, Carmichael, Scotland.

The Carmichael Church and Cemetery

While photographing the exterior of the Carmichael church, a very sweet Scottish lady noticed me and asked if I would like to see the inside. She was nice enough to show me around and tell me more about the Carmichael history. Turns out, she's never been out of Scotland in her life!  A true Scot, she is.

Holding Dad's ashes inside the Carmichael Church

The main 'hero' of the family is Sir John de Carmichael who became the first Chief of Clan, the formal head of the family. Sir John was a knight in the Scottish army sent to help the French repel the English invasion during the Hundred Years War at The Battle of Beauge in 1421. The French army was on the verge of collapse when Sir John Carmichael struck King Henry V's brother (the Duke of Clarence) while breaking his spear in the process (see below image). With this death of the Commander, the English troops fled in disarray, thus turning the tide of the Hundred Years War. For this, the French awarded Sir John our family crest which features a broken spear and our crest still to this day has the motto "Tout Jour Prest", ancient French for "Always Ready". Some of the Carmichael's later became Lords and Earls of the land.

During my visit, I spent a lot of time with the 30th Chief of Clan Carmichael's son, Andrew Carmichael. He was nice enough to tell me more about our history and I even stayed in "Dovecot Cottage," one of the  cottages owned by the estate, which was built in the 1700's! I toured around the land, visited the giftshop, met some of the farmers and took photos of the old beautiful ruins of the Carmichael Mansion and other cottages.  

Quick Tip: If you're ever in Scotland, make sure you get some Carmichael meats and vegetables, they are known to be the best in the area.

This photo of the Carmichael cottage reminds me of my dad's paintings :)

With Andrew Carmichael

At the old ruins of the Carmichael Mansion wearing my Carmichael Kilt and accessories! The family hopes to one day restore the mansion. 

The Kilt!

As I learned more about the Scottish culture, I found out that the patterns you see on bagpipes and kilts are not random or chosen based on preference. Instead, they are usually a family tartan, a plaid pattern that is specifically reserved for members of a family. Naturally, when I found out that the Carmichaels have their own tartan, I knew I just had to get a kilt... 

My trip to the kilt store was an interesting experience. Kilts in Scotland are not as simple as they might appear. Turns out, they are very much like tuxedos in the US, both in terms of formality and the number of accessories you need. There are many things worn with a typical Scottish kilt, many of which feature the family crest, so here's a brief breakdown of all the things I had to get in order to properly wear my kilt.

Sgian-dubh: A cool looking knife, with your family crest, that is worn inside the top of your sock. Be careful with this, if you forget about it in your sock, you might get it taken away when you stop by your local pub for a pint (as I know from experience). 

Sporran: As kilts have no pockets, this is basically a fancy Scottish fanny pack. During my time in Scotland, I took to calling this my "crotch purse." 

Kilt Pin: A small pin, featuring the family crest, that must be worn two pattern squares up from the bottom of the kilt on your right side. 

Kilt Hoes: Knee-length socks. 

Garter flashes: Small elastic straps that hold the socks in place and have some color adornment for decoration.

Yes, for those who are wondering, this is the real way to wear a kilt! 

Even the Scots were impressed by my ability to wear a kilt!

Scotland in general is a photographers dream. It was hard not to photograph everything in sight. I have to give kudos to my friend Justin that is traveling with me on this journey. He's helping document a lot of this and is very patient for all the times I want to stop and take some photos! haha

Scotland was truly an incredible experience. If you haven't been, I definitely recommend it. In addition to Carmichael, we stayed in Glasgow and Edinbrough, where the whole city feels like you're in a fairy tale. The Scottish people are seriously some of the most friendly and kind people I've ever encountered. One tip though: Most "authentic" Scottish cuisine seems to be based on a dare, so I'd avoid the haggis.

I am so happy that I researched my family history. It has really given me a different mindset and knowing where my ancestors came from gives me a sense of closure, appreciation and pride. I encourage everyone do the same, you never know what you might discover! At the end of my stay in Carmichael, I spent some time alone with dad at the Carmichael House and spread his ashes. Below are a handful of photos from the experience.

I stumbled upon a little lost sheep on the other side of the fence. I felt bad for him I almost brought him with me!

The baby sheep loved the camera! They were so cute!

Dad Climbs Mt Everest!

My original intent in undertaking this journey was to check off dad's bucket list, one by one. However, in looking at the list, I started to realize that these were all places that he could have realistically visited on his own, given more time and means. If there's one thing I knew about my dad it that he was constantly in awe of what human beings can do with dedication and pursuit. Given that, I kept thinking about how cool it would be to expand the list to places that, even in his wildest dreams, he never would have imagined going... which leads to my friend John Beede.

I love awesome people, especially the ones who inspire you to do great things for the world. I've been lucky enough to know John for nine years. I can't think of anything this guy hasn't done. John has traveled the entire world, is an amazing motivational speaker who inspires thousands of young adults, he's a rock climber, author of the book "Climb On!", kitesurfer, owns multiple successful businesses, and is probably one of the most genuine, giving and humble people I've ever encountered. He has a huge heart and is all about helping others. Check out this video to get a glimpse of how many lives he is changing, and it's a great message to hear too.

John has climbed some of the highest mountain peaks in the world and has been preparing for years to climb the tallest, Mount Everest. The more I thought about John's own journey, the more I thought of how cool it would be if dad could climb Everest, too. I was hesitant to bring up the subject to John, but being his incredible self, he was eager to help and spent his LAST day at home with me to lay out all his gear and find a place to hold dad.

Attaching some ashes to his gear might sound like a simple thing to do, but it's much more complicated than you could imagine. Climbing Everest is extremely risky and dangerous. With the steep cliffs, high altitudes, lack of oxygen and heavy gear, ounces of weight turn into pounds. Adding just an ounce of ashes to his gear is far trickier than you'd imagine. Even more complicated is finding the right place to attach them.

One of the things John was trying to explain to me was how difficult it will be to be able to grab onto anything or get to dad's ashes, so he could leave them at the summit. While we were trying to decide on where to attach the ashes he had me put on THREE layers of gloves to give me an idea of the little amount of traction he would have. We tried many different solutions: his down-suit, boots, gloves, outer pocket, water bottle holder... eventually we found the right solution, the inside of his helmet.

I had no idea how much goes into climbing Everest. It's truly amazing and so inspiring. The roughly two month journey requires an unbelievable amount of dedication. I am so grateful to know someone like John. Not only do I appreciate his selflessness and willingness to help take my dad up Everest, but also for how much he has inspired me to always strive to be a better person, challenge myself, surround myself around good people, and to take risks in life just to see where things go. It's a contagious attitude to have in life and brings nothing but good and exciting things. 

John is already starting the climb and if you would like to track his progress you can do so here.

Good luck on your journey John and thank you from the bottom of my heart. We will go flying in Africa when you are back! Cheers! 

Cool little background story: My Nickname

For those who don't know, my dad called me "Spudz" since the first minute I was born and never called me anything else. Apparently when I was born the doctor handed me to my dad and said that I weighed "5 pounds, 5 ounces." My dad responded with, "Wow he weighs no more than a sack of potatoes, I think I'll call him Spudz. Some may argue it is because I LOOKED like a potato as a baby, however my dad assured me that was not true lol. Now, you may be wondering why I'm telling you this random story about my weird name; here's why:

John told me the best thing to put the ashes in would be a small plastic bag that's wrapped around a "lens cleaning cloth" type of material that could be sewn shut... I've had this little cloth pouch that has a lens cloth attached to the inside of it since the beginning of my photography journey. In fact, I actually purchased it the same day I bought my very first camera back in 2007 and have had it ever since. Here's the oddest part... When inspecting the pouch to see if it would work for this purpose, I noticed that on the inside it had some writing on it, the name of the manufacturer... "Spudz.com." I needed no more confirmation that this was the perfect way to send him to Everest. :)

Pearl Harbor

I must admit that I have attempted several times to write about my trip to Pearl Harbor, but it has been difficult. It has taken the past week to fully collect my thoughts.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on why I decided to start this site, as I’ve have never had a blog before and putting my emotions out there in public is taking some getting used to. My initial reason for starting this blog was in hopes that it may bring some positivity into the lives of others who are going through a difficult time. I’ve been very excited about this journey to honor my dad and want to share it with others, but what happens when I have an especially difficult week, such as this week? Am I supposed to write about the difficult moments, too? I probably would have just given up on this blogging thing, were it not for the overwhelming amount of people, including many strangers, who have told me that what I am doing has helped or inspired them in some way. This feedback has helped me to conclude that I’m going to always be as open and transparent as possible throughout this journey, even if some of the entries are not as happy or uplifting as the others. Should any of my entries result in a damper on your day, I apologize in advance. I promise I’ll make up for it later. J Most importantly, for all of you who have helped me find my sense of purpose in this process, thank you.

So Pearl Harbor, sigh… As I mentioned in an earlier blog it was at the top of my dad’s list of things he wanted to see. After many opportunities to get him there, I kept postponing it and eventually it was too late… Needless to say it was a difficult and emotional day.

There is something very strange (and annoying) about the grieving process…. There are these random and unpredictable moments that trigger you into becoming an emotional mess. There are no warning signs, and sometimes for no reason at all for it, it just happens. A friend of mine recently told me that after a year of her dad’s passing she was at the grocery store and saw a can of olives, which reminded her of her dad. With that, she broke down crying in the middle of the canned food isle.

Skydiving!

Jon Takes Dad's Ashes Skydiving from Jon Carmichael on Vimeo.

Yesterday was an important and exciting day as I finally successfully got dad skydiving. Fortunately, the weather was perfect and the views of Oahu were breathtaking. Here's an HD video of the whole experience, including the moment on the way down when I spread his ashes:

Here's the background story on why this day was so important to me: Both my mom and dad had always wanted to go skydiving. I decided to surprise them and bought tickets for their 30th wedding anniversary, October 1, 2012. The day before our scheduled jump, the skydive company called me and said that we had to cancel our jump because the President was flying into town and no planes can be in the air. We were all so disappointed. 

Little did I know that five days later I would be meeting the President. His 20th wedding anniversary with Michelle was only 2 days after my parent's 30th so I thought it would be appropriate and fun to tell him about what had happened. I'm fairly confident that I'm the only person in the world who has started a conversation with the President of the United States by saying "I have a bone to pick with you..." I told him the story and he laughed, even apologizing and told me to tell me parents he was very sorry. The Secret Service and campaign staff all thought it was hilarious.  

We then tried TWO more times to get them up. The second time was postponed due to a scheduling conflict. The third time we got them all geared up and ready to go. They got in the plane and went all the way up to 14,000 feet. They were seconds away from finally jumping but then the pilot's radio had very unusual interference. They tried to fix it but failed. Without a radio, you cannot warn other aircraft in the area that there are skydivers jumping in that area and the jump was aborted.

Now here's the really strange part....

Fulfilling a Promise (While Overcoming Regret)

I have arrived safely in beautiful Hawaii. I have been here many times before and even lived here for a brief time back in summer of 2010. Although it is an amazing place to be, my heart is aching as I am here...

Arrived safely at Honolulu Airport (with dad)...

Hawaii was #1 on my dad's list of places he wanted to visit... Not just because of the photogenic beaches or the beautiful landscapes, it was because he wanted to see one thing: Pearl Harbor. My dad was born in 1931. He grew up in downtown Chicago during the Great Depression and witnessed a lot of the profound tragedies and triumphs in our nation's history. I always enjoyed hearing all of his amazing stories, as they gave me an even greater appreciation for the freedoms we continue to enjoy. When the attack on Pearl Harbor took place, my dad was old enough to remember it very well. His older brother, Mike, was a pilot in World War II and it always bothered him that he wasn't old enough to be in the military at that time. Later on, during the Korean War, my dad joined both the Navy and Air Force.

Dad, age 18

October 8, 2011 was my dad's 80th birthday and I decided it's time to get him to Hawaii. When I gave him the gift he started crying; he was overjoyed. Seventy years after the attack he remembered so vividly, he was finally going to visit Pearl Harbor...

Dad's 80th Birthday

Regrets...

My dad never made it to Pearl Harbor. After I gave him the gift I got really "busy," with my career, finding a new passion in flying and entering into a long distance relationship. Eventually I no longer had the money to go. I just kept putting it off and putting it off telling my dad, "Sorry dad, things just got so busy but we are going to go I promise! As soon as things calm down." He was always so patient and understanding with me. All he wanted was for me to continue my pursuit of happiness.

Regret is an interesting concept. It is especially difficult when it's too late and you aren't able to tell the person you're sorry. Since my dad died last month, I haven't stopped thinking about how much I wish I could go back. I feel as though I broke a promise to him that he had been looking forward to his entire life. I had so many opportunities to get him here. Why didn't I use my frequent flyer miles to get him here in 2010 when I was living here and had a couch for him to sleep on? Why did I let less important things take priority? Could I forgive myself?

Do things "happen for a reason"?

As I sat on the plane staring out the window on my way here, I realized if you look at things in life differently, you can almost always find a positive reason why things happen the way that they do. If I could go back in time and do things differently would I? Absolutely. But unfortunately life doesn't move backwards, it only moves forward. If I just continue to dwell on the past, how am I ever going to move on or improve myself for the future? I've been thinking a lot about the lessons I've learned through this experience and I'm realizing that it's because of this that I'm going to appreciate the important people in my life a lot more. Time is so so precious and we aren't guaranteed for tomorrow, nor are we guaranteed that we will SEE someone special to us tomorrow. This is a concept that I will be thinking about often in my future and I think it will enrich my life and the way I spend my time more than I know. If there is anything my dad wanted, it was to see me happy and see me grow and improve myself. I believe my dad would've sacrificed seeing Pearl Harbor for me to learn this lesson at the young age I am at.

We have all suffered from regret and wishing we had done things differently. But regret is only in our minds. This means that anyone has the power to overcome whatever is holding you back; keeping you depressed; keeping you from seeing the beauty in life and moving forward.

Today, I will be going to Pearl Harbor for the first time. During all my visits to Hawaii, I never went, as I wanted to share the experience with my dad. I'm sure it'll be a difficult day, but it'll also resemble a great lesson learned as I carry him with me and spread his ashes. This is for you Dad and I thank you for this blessing in disguise. Love you...

The Journey Begins

My entire life I have feared what it would be like to lose a parent. I’ve had many close friends who have lost a parent or loved one and I’ve watched as they have each grieved and processed it differently. I would always wonder how I would respond to such a difficult loss. Would I go through a great depression? Would I ever accomplish happiness again? How long does the grieving process take? Why do some people seem to get through it with a positive outlook and others don’t? Why do some live with years of regret, sometimes never over coming it, while others accomplish peace and happiness? Little did I know this fear would soon become a reality. This blog is about my journey through that process.

On Valentine’s Day, we found out my dad’s aortic valve had to be replaced and would require open-heart surgery a week later. While he made it through the procedure, rare complications made his survival impossible. On February 22, my dad was gone.

At 81, my dad lived a long healthy life but there were so many things he still wanted to see and do. I’m lucky that we were so close and often discussed many of the places he wanted to visit and things he still dreamed of doing but never had the chance. I’ve decided to help fulfill these dreams by spreading his ashes at these places while doing those things.

My hope is that, through this blog, maybe it can help others out there that have either lost a loved one, or, like I once was, curious to know what it is like to go through this before it happens. Death, as difficult as it is to face, is inevitable. All of us will suffer a great loss at some point in our lives.

For the next month, I invite you to join me as I’ll be traveling the world, checking off my dad’s “bucket list,” at over twenty different locations, in nine different countries... I’m nervous, excited, happy, sad, yet so anxious to see where this adventure will lead. I’m grateful to be able to share it with all of you.

Today is the first stop: Hawaii.