Fulfilling a Promise (While Overcoming Regret)

I have arrived safely in beautiful Hawaii. I have been here many times before and even lived here for a brief time back in summer of 2010. Although it is an amazing place to be, my heart is aching as I am here...

Arrived safely at Honolulu Airport (with dad)...

Hawaii was #1 on my dad's list of places he wanted to visit... Not just because of the photogenic beaches or the beautiful landscapes, it was because he wanted to see one thing: Pearl Harbor. My dad was born in 1931. He grew up in downtown Chicago during the Great Depression and witnessed a lot of the profound tragedies and triumphs in our nation's history. I always enjoyed hearing all of his amazing stories, as they gave me an even greater appreciation for the freedoms we continue to enjoy. When the attack on Pearl Harbor took place, my dad was old enough to remember it very well. His older brother, Mike, was a pilot in World War II and it always bothered him that he wasn't old enough to be in the military at that time. Later on, during the Korean War, my dad joined both the Navy and Air Force.

Dad, age 18

October 8, 2011 was my dad's 80th birthday and I decided it's time to get him to Hawaii. When I gave him the gift he started crying; he was overjoyed. Seventy years after the attack he remembered so vividly, he was finally going to visit Pearl Harbor...

Dad's 80th Birthday

Regrets...

My dad never made it to Pearl Harbor. After I gave him the gift I got really "busy," with my career, finding a new passion in flying and entering into a long distance relationship. Eventually I no longer had the money to go. I just kept putting it off and putting it off telling my dad, "Sorry dad, things just got so busy but we are going to go I promise! As soon as things calm down." He was always so patient and understanding with me. All he wanted was for me to continue my pursuit of happiness.

Regret is an interesting concept. It is especially difficult when it's too late and you aren't able to tell the person you're sorry. Since my dad died last month, I haven't stopped thinking about how much I wish I could go back. I feel as though I broke a promise to him that he had been looking forward to his entire life. I had so many opportunities to get him here. Why didn't I use my frequent flyer miles to get him here in 2010 when I was living here and had a couch for him to sleep on? Why did I let less important things take priority? Could I forgive myself?

Do things "happen for a reason"?

As I sat on the plane staring out the window on my way here, I realized if you look at things in life differently, you can almost always find a positive reason why things happen the way that they do. If I could go back in time and do things differently would I? Absolutely. But unfortunately life doesn't move backwards, it only moves forward. If I just continue to dwell on the past, how am I ever going to move on or improve myself for the future? I've been thinking a lot about the lessons I've learned through this experience and I'm realizing that it's because of this that I'm going to appreciate the important people in my life a lot more. Time is so so precious and we aren't guaranteed for tomorrow, nor are we guaranteed that we will SEE someone special to us tomorrow. This is a concept that I will be thinking about often in my future and I think it will enrich my life and the way I spend my time more than I know. If there is anything my dad wanted, it was to see me happy and see me grow and improve myself. I believe my dad would've sacrificed seeing Pearl Harbor for me to learn this lesson at the young age I am at.

We have all suffered from regret and wishing we had done things differently. But regret is only in our minds. This means that anyone has the power to overcome whatever is holding you back; keeping you depressed; keeping you from seeing the beauty in life and moving forward.

Today, I will be going to Pearl Harbor for the first time. During all my visits to Hawaii, I never went, as I wanted to share the experience with my dad. I'm sure it'll be a difficult day, but it'll also resemble a great lesson learned as I carry him with me and spread his ashes. This is for you Dad and I thank you for this blessing in disguise. Love you...